Can't beat 'em so I'm running for Congress

Today, I officially declare my candidacy for congress. Nothing personal but first off, I can care less about you people, I’m not going there to represent you. I’m going for the perks. All I need is to get elected and get sworn in. I promise that right after that, I’ll bring some pork project to Wake County, then resign.  It’s a win-win for us all. You eventually get who you want after I leave, and I get all the perks.

First off, the health plan, why not run for Congress. Take a look at this. This is totally worth lying and kissing babies for.

Personal doctors on call 24/7. Coverage that knows no caps. No exemptions for pre-existing conditions.Those are the sorts of benefits members of Congress currently enjoy on the taxpayer’s dime, and the kinds of benefits Americans on a government-run public health care plan will never see if Obamacare passes.“One thing is certain: Congress will exempt itself from whatever lousy health care system it forces on we little people,” said Michael Cannon, director of health policy studies at the Cato Institute. “Congress will get better insurance than you do because politicians always get a better deal under government-run health care.”While it’s not news that Congressional health insurance plans are posh, CBS News recently uncovered the details of plans – right as the details of the Baucus health care bill are being hashed out.Members of Congress can choose from five different plans, and have access to both the VIP Bethesda Naval Hospital and a reserved spot Ward 72 at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, an elite division usually reserved for military members. Their everyday medical concerns can be taken care of at a doctors office located inside of Congress.Their premiums are the same as those of insurance plans with half the benefits, and the plans last a lifetime; not until Medicare kicks in do ex-Members or loose their Congressional health benefits. Congress has repeatedly voted down any provision that would switch their insurance plans to the lower-grade public option if Obamacare goes through.

That’s just great, regardless what I subject my constituents to whom I’m supposed to represent, I get a premium plan loaded with perks. I also hear that the lifetime pension is a great deal too. So just serve a single two-year term and collect money the rest of my life.

And in related humorous news, check out how it’s going in Britian with their health system. It’s soon to collapse under it’s own weight.

THE National Health Service has spent £1.5m paying for hundreds of its staff to have private health treatment so they can leapfrog their own waiting lists. More than 3,000 staff, including doctors and nurses, have gone private at the taxpayers’ expense in the past three years because the queues at the clinics and hospitals where they work are too long.

via Gateway Pundit.

2 thoughts on “Can't beat 'em so I'm running for Congress

  1. Well, your approach might work…

    “Vote for the crook who tells the truth! Tony Nelson IS YOUR MAN!”

    You might have a chance… But I’m still not voting for you…

  2. Aw, come on!!! I need a break, I’ve worked hard enough. Tell you what, you can be my Chief of Staff and I won’t let you be the fall guy when they find $100 bills frozen in ice in the freezer.

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