Satire: Every White Supremacist Group Should Have a Black Leader

[Warning: satire notice because someone’s not gonna get it]

Yup, why not? If you’re going to have a cause, why not be inclusive with diversity. Countless studies show that diversity enhances marketing efforts by reaching out to a wider audience. Diversity brings in new ideas, helping your organization think outside the box. For white supremacist groups, having a black leader, even a token one will bring awareness to your cause.

BTW, I’m available For the right price. I’m looking for a modest executive salary in the area of ~$500K per year including bonuses based on recruitment numbers. I can help negotiate advertising rates on Fox News and Adopt a Highway programs. For the record, I have hated people for no particular good reason and jumped on bandwagons with no understanding of the issues. I can also come up with good reasons why “they’re beneath “us” and should leave this country (preferably by cargo ship because overseas airfare is absurd these days). I know a guy who can help get you legitimate non-profit status as a 501C so we can funnel all the money to build our doomsday bunkers for when that Mooselum Dick-tater Hussain Obama takes away our ass-ault riffells. Especially after this week with SCOTUS loosing their collective minds on healthcare to help people and stating that anyone can actually love anyone. I know, nonsense. First off, if you get sick or have an accident, it’s your own damn fault. You shouldn’t have been crossing the street when that car hit you and it was your responsibility to keep cancer at bay. Then this marriage thing, only hetrosexuals should have the privlidge of being pissed off about the marriage tax penalty.

Anyway, as I said, I’m your man (not woman because in a supremacist group, their asses should be in the kitchen making cookies while we have our bonfire meetings). Having a person of color will show your commitment to outreach and furthering the cause. “White Power!!”

Thank you Dave Chappell for this inspiration. I’m out.

Just got a visit from AT&T..too funny

So there’s a knock on the door. It’s an AT&T U-Verse representative, and really pushy. He’s here to graciousLy inform me that my subdivision is being upgraded and that gigabit service will be available to me within the month. So he asks who I have now which I inform him that I used to have Uverse, but am now on TWC for broadband only, not interested in TV or phone. Asking me why I left Uverse, I simply explained that at the time, they didn’t have the speeds that I wanted and there were too many outages. Also explained that I’m with TWC for now, but will be moving to Google Fiber as its coming too. 

Then it gets weird. He asks if I run a business at home, because the new Gb Uverse service is for people who have five or more servers at home (and can’t image what that will cost), and for residential at 45Mb is now available. I’m thinking, why the hell did this guy stop at my house?

Then the aggressive sales pitch begin. “Well, if you don’t want the free installation that we’re currently doing along with the free TV set we’re including with this deal, then I guess I’ll need to go to your next door neighbor and offer it to them since you don’t want it”. 

My response? “OK, bye, I’ll wait for Google Fiber….”